Infidelity can be a two way street. Married people frequently have affairs with other married people. So if he is having an affair with a married woman, it only stands to reason that there are married women who have affairs. When men are caught up in their own liaisons, they fail to realize if someone’s wife will do it with them, there is a good chance that their wife is doing it with someone else as well.
At first glance, this may seem like a bad thing but it can actually be the last shred that holds the marriage together. When both parties are guilty of the same thing, no one person can take the moral ground. It is possible for both spouses to reunite knowing that they have experimented and come out the other side still wanting each other.
The number of married women who have affairs is increasing; keeping pace with men who cheat. The increase in the number of women who seek satisfaction elsewhere may seem like one more nail in the coffin of traditional marriage. But that would be an erroneous conclusion. Women who will do whatever they need to do for their happiness are potentially better partners than women who play the martyr.
When married women have affairs, they are usually seeking something elemental that is missing in their marriage. If he is cheating, it only stands to reason that he is not giving his wife the time she needs. His time is going to his mistress. So his wife in turn finds someone who will make her a priority and it becomes a vicious cycle. The cycle can only be broken when both parties admit that their current marriage is damaged and recommit to be true to each other.
If a husband and wife would just have an affair with each other, their marital problems would be solved. So often affairs are about recapturing that excitement of the first blush of love. Too quickly that honeymoon rush is lost to dirty laundry, wet diapers and expenses neither ever expected. Marriage is the most important contract two people can enter into, yet few people actually have a plan.
Counseling can help couples make a plan even after the damage has been done. The damage of an affair can be repaired but it takes time and it takes effort. The first thing the couple must work out is why they had affairs in the first place. Why did they turn to other people instead of to each other? That can be a hard question to answer. It requires opening themselves up to their real feelings.
Counseling post affair is the reality check that the marriage should have had before the affair. But the trick to surviving an affair is to let go of what should have been. Instead, couples have to recommit to a fresh start today. Married women who have affairs need to realize they should bring the excitement and honesty, they brought to the affair, home to their husbands. And husbands who cheat need to bring the love and attention, they gave the mistress, back to their wives. Then the marital bliss has a chance to survive.